Whether it was Rihanna unfollowing Drake, Bella Hadid unfollowing The Weeknd (yes, this happened yikes), or me unfollowing my beau last season, we can all accept that the social media unfollow is now equivalent to a real life parting. But why is it becoming ritualistic? Is it an etiquette that officiates the end of a saga? An act of social preservation? A cry for attention?
The issue is deeper than a simple click on the ‘unfollow’ button.
In my case, at least, it was a cue for cleansing. My mind, body, spirit. I wanted to cleanse myself of all the negativity brought by the connection. It was disappointing enough to not be able to spend time with someone you love, let alone watch them prioritize other people and things and post about the lovely time they were having. It was something I could do when I felt like I could do nothing. It was a way to help me get to a point in the future where I was unaffected, for my mental and spiritual well being. It was step one.
I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing, but it brought me relief. It felt slightly immature and even meaningless, but I did it for the sake of my peace. As an act of self care. Queen Ri realized this early on, and it looks like after a long haul of trying to stay respectful and friends with the artist of Starboy, Bella Hadid jumped on the Unfollow ship.
Here are FIVE reasons you should unfollow when its time to let go:
1. You will no longer experience the feelings of jealousy, anger, disappointment or whatever it is you feel when you see their posts
2. Out of sight, out of mind. Now this may be a slow process and there will be times you are tempted to check in on their social profile but it gets better with time. I KNOW. I hate when someone says that to me too, but nothing could be truer. On the other hand, moving on is practically impossible if you are constantly surrounded by updates about their life.
3. As your mind starts occupying less and less time thinking about them, you now have free space to learn and engage in new things, focus on yourself… or a new beau, and its most likely an upgrade from the last too.
4. Enter new beau. Having social media ties to the past can only bring tension to the present, possibly because you haven’t cleared your headspace (and how could you if you constantly see their life updates) or possibly because there is still social media activity between you and your past. It sounds extreme but early impressions play a vital role in laying a new foundation.
5. When you are ready, IF you are ready, you can always reconnect. An unfollow isn’t a set in stone measure.
Future you will thank you.